What to Do if Your Senior Is the Controlling Type

By Robert D. Liken CPC, CTS, President

November 28, 2018

Some aging adults have more of an urge to try to control what’s going on around them. If your aging family member has a need to be more controlling, this can conflict with what you’re doing as her caregiver.

Elderly Care in Upper St. Clair PA: Controlling Senior
Elderly Care in Upper St. Clair PA: Controlling Senior

Learn as Much as You Can about Her Health Issues
Knowledge is power and the more that you and your senior understand about her health conditions, the better. As your senior learns more about her health, she may find that she has less of a desire to control and to micromanage issues, too. Work with your elderly family member’s doctor to determine what else you need to know.
Set Some Boundaries and Respect Them
Boundaries are important for you and for your aging adult both. For instance, if you let your senior know that you can take her to the store at a certain time, that’s a boundary. A senior who wants to try controlling every situation may try to get you to change your schedule in order to go at a different time. If your schedule truly can’t support that, though, you need to stick to your boundary.
Give Your Senior a Say
Even within your boundaries, you do need to let your senior have a say in what goes on. Otherwise, you’re just dictating to her and then you’re the one who is trying to do all the controlling. Give your aging family member options that fit within your boundaries as often as you can.
Delegate the Parts that Cause You the Most Trouble
Some situations are going to cause your senior more trouble than others. In those cases, instead of butting heads with your senior over those issues, it makes more sense to delegate those situations to elder care providers or to other family members. This helps you to feel less resentful of your senior and she’s less likely to take her frustration out on someone else.
Take Some Breaks
It’s essential for you to take plenty of breaks from caregiving if your elderly family member is feeling more controlling. This allows you to decompress and to recover so that you can continue to take care of your senior’s needs. It also allows you to take care of yourself so that you’re recharged. Elder care providers can handle whatever your senior needs while you’re focusing on you for a while.
Chances are good that you’re not going to be able to completely cure your senior of her controlling behaviors. But you can do as much as possible to give her choices and to handle issues as they crop up.
If you are considering Elderly Care in Upper St. Clair, PA, please contact the friendly staff at Liken Home Care. Call (412) 693-6820 or (855) 856-0551.