What if Mom Refuses Help?

By Robert D. Liken CPC, CTS, President

April 28, 2017


Elder Care in Beaver PA: What if Mom Refuses Help?

Have you begun to notice some signs that your mom needs some help if she’s going to continue living at home? Maybe she’s forgetting to pay bills, can’t keep her house as clean as she once did, or she’s not as stable on her feet as she used to be. If that’s the case, you may have considered hiring a professional elder care provider to help your mom stay safe and healthy in her home. But, what happens when you mention the idea to your mom and she refuses the help?
Reasons Mom May Refuse Help
The reasons for refusing help vary from one person to the next. Your mom may be refusing to allow you to hire an elder care provider because:

  • She fears losing her independence.
  • She is afraid of losing her sense of privacy.
  • She doesn’t like the idea of having to adjust to a new routine.
  • She feels like she’s a burden.
  • She’s stubborn.
  • She is worried about the cost.
  • She thinks accepting health makes her look weak.
  • She is in denial of her situation.

Tips for Talking to Mom About Getting Help
Once you’ve figured out what is making your mom reluctant to accept health, the next step is talking to her about her feelings and why getting help is a good idea. Your approach will probably depend on her specific reasons for refusing help. Some ideas for talking to your mom about it are:

  • Be positive: Always describe getting care as a positive thing. Talk about an elder care provider as being a friend. Suggest things that an elder care provider might do with or for your mom that you know she will like. For example, if your mom can’t drive anymore and misses going to certain places, explain to her that an elder care provider may be able to take her there.
  • Do a trial run: Ask your mom to allow you to hire a temporary elder care provider so that she can try it out. Tell her that if she doesn’t like it, you can end the care.
  • Explain how an elder care provider will help you: Be honest with your mom about your own needs. Tell her that an elder care provider will ease your mind.
  • Talk about costs: Discuss how costs for care can be covered. Reassure your mom that the cost of care will be worth the help she will receive.

Convincing your mom that she needs help may take a while, but persistence may be the key. Don’t fight with your mom about it, but do gently remind her of the ways in which an elder care provider could make her life better. If you know someone who currently uses an elder care provider, ask them if they would be willing to talk to your mom about the benefits of having a home care provider. Knowing that she isn’t the only one who needs help may just change her mind!

If you or an aging loved one are considering elder care in Beaver, PA, please contact the friendly staff at Liken Home Care.  Call (412) 693-6820 or (855) 856-0551